Happy May the 4th Day

Lucasfilm Entertainment 

1110 Gorgas Ave

San Francisco, California 94129

May 4, 2016

Dears Sirs,

The next Star Wars movie is 7 months away.  There no denying Star Wars fans young and old are excited to see Rogue One.  After seeing the trailer, and watching it several times in scholarly pursuits, I found a problem with it, even though it is awesome.  It is missing the “Chewie …. we’re home” connection with fans.  The movie must have a way to pull in fans with a familiar face and a story that pulls the viewer into the movie.   Not a major detour from the planned storyline, but maybe a scene that brings it all together. The Force Awakens wasn’t really about the search for Luke.  It was Rey, Finn and Poe meeting up and kicking some major First Order butt. Even though the move started with Luke and ended with Luke, he was just a way to pull everyone into the universe.

This is problematic though, the stars of the original trilogy wouldn’t be able to play their young selves.   So that leaves the droids, and other non humans.  The obvious choice is Chewbecca.  Everyone loves a wookie.   Seeing Chewie without Han, is going to be hard to cope with.  Maybe a lame excuse that Chewie is by himself, because he is on his way to a Life Day celebration. I don’t know if we are ready for it, and my therapist agrees that I am not ready for it.  Besides Chewie is too busy smuggling with Han, to get involved with the Rebellion at this point.  There is Boba Fett, but we are really waiting for an entire movie to honor the Fett.  The Ewoks were cuddly and cute.  I even own both Ewok movies.  Nah, that is not going to work. We still need that familiar face, so we can get that warm and fuzzy feeling we had with the force awakens trailers.  I have heard Darth Vader may make an appearance in this one, but he is not warm and fuzzy.

So that brings us to the Prequels. Yea, the Prequels.  The stars are still around and it hasn’t been that long.  Maybe one of the characters, could help bring the balance to the fo, err film.  So who could it be,  Padamé …dead, Obi Wan…getting old on Tattoonie, Qui-gon ..dead, Anankin….already covered,  Darth Maul..dead, Mace “say force again” Windu… Dead, Yoda….MIA in the Dagobah system.  Not really much of choice left, I will get back to that in few.
So there is still time to create a single scene that would unite Star Wars fans young and old.  There is no denying that old generation didn’t enjoy the prequels to the original trilogy. I was hoping that you can do something to unite all Star Wars fans.  There seems to be some disconnect between the fans of the original trilogy and fans of prequel trilogy.  I believe there needs to be a storyline that connects the seven films and binds them together.  I am not really a writer, but I do have some good ideas sometimes. So here it is.

A slightly thinner Jabba the hutt  has caught and enslaved a galactic princess. Her rescue I attempt is led by a familar Gungan .  Now this next thing is crucial to connect all of the Star Wars universe. JAR JAR BINKS MUST DIE.  Not a simple blaster shot to the head but over the top cruel gruesome death scene. Maybe consult someone who works in the horror genre like the brilliant minds behind The Human Centipede.  Something like getting his head crushed by a trash compactor while get beaten by sand people.  A renegade wookie could rip his ears off and beat him to death with them.  Have Jar Jar deliver one his trademark stupid lines.  Then fire him up like the Death Star. The whole scene should last no longer then it took for Rey to hop in Millennium Falcon and walk up that hill to see Luke.

So there it is folks.  I seek no compensation, fame or fortune. I just want that warm and fuzzy feeling to return again with this new film. Have a great day, and may the force be with you!




One thought on “Happy May the 4th Day

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